Hi Reader,

I read a poem on Substack a few months back called “Please Use AI” by Shawn Smucker, and it hasn’t let go of me. Weeks later, it still pops into my head almost daily.

My husband’s a technophile, an early adopter who uses AI for everything. I use it daily too, but with more hesitation. I read him the poem expecting him to be as floored as I was. He wasn’t. He argued people have always resisted new technology, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

He’s not wrong. But what stays with me isn’t the big picture, it’s the small stuff. All the little questions we used to bring to a friend, a neighbor, a parent, that now go straight to a chatbot instead.

It turns out there’s research behind that worry. A new study tracked over 3,000 people through three weeks of real AI conversations. Sycophantic AI, the endlessly warm, agreeable kind, delivers the same emotional support we’d normally get from people close to us, just instantly. By the end of three weeks, people had become almost as likely to bring personal decisions to sycophantic AI as to their actual friends and family, and their satisfaction with their real relationships had dropped. When given a choice of AI styles, most people picked the sycophantic one, not because the advice was better, but because it made them feel the most understood.

That’s the trade Smucker’s poem is naming. AI can answer almost any question. But some questions were never really about the answer. They were the excuse to call your friend and end up hearing about her dad’s diagnosis, or her garden, or her day.

So how do we teach our kids to tell the difference? Here’s where I’ve landed:

• Ask “who’d actually love being asked this?” before “what’s fastest.” If Grandpa would light up being asked for his chili recipe, that’s a vote for Grandpa over the chatbot.
• AI’s fine for facts. People are for connection. Homework help, logistics, organization, quick lookups: AI’s fine. Feelings, advice, “how was your day”: that’s a human’s job.
• Watch for what’s disappearing, not just what’s being used. The question isn’t how much AI your kid touches, it’s whether it’s quietly replacing conversations they used to have with you, a sibling, a friend.

We're all navigating uncharted waters as we parent in an AI age. What's been the most challenging aspect for you?

In partnership,

Dr. Rupa

P.S. Just a reminder that Tech Ready is here when you are! It's my digital driver's ed course for tweens + their parents to take together before that first phone.