Hi Reader,

A few weeks ago, we were on a road trip with our daughters. As we were driving, my 6-year-old asked from the back seat:

“How many days would it take to walk from here to New York?”

It’s the kind of question you hope your kid will ask. My husband asked AI right away. Within seconds it gave a clear, accurate answer: about four months, including rest days.

And I immediately wished we’d handled it differently.

No shade on my husband. Most of us would have done the same thing. Asking AI is the default now. About a quarter of U.S. teens have used ChatGPT for schoolwork, double the share from the year before. Our younger kids are watching us reach for it every day.

If I could hit rewind, here's what I would do:

1. Start with her guess. Pull up a map and give her anchors (San Jose is 75 miles, Florida is nearly 3,000), then let her guess again.
2. Make it personal. How far can she walk in an hour?
3. Let her plan the trip. What would slow her down? Sleep, food, blisters, rainy days?
4. Do the math together, out loud and messy.
5. Then check with AI, if we want to. Use it like a calculator.

We’d have ended up with about the same answer, but she’d have gotten there in a very different way.

I’m not worried about AI making kids lazy. I’m worried about it taking away the struggle that builds their brains.

Kids aren't born with executive functioning skills. They’re born with the potential to develop them, and they build them by using them. That messy middle (“Wait, what about sleeping?”) is where the building happens.

The early research points the same way:

• In a study of nearly 1,000 high school math students, students who used ChatGPT during practice scored 48% higher. When the AI was taken away for the exam, they scored 17% worse than students who never had it. A version of the chatbot that gave hints instead of answers caused no drop at all.
• A 2025 study of 666 people linked heavier AI use to lower critical-thinking scores, and the pattern was strongest in younger people. (It’s correlational, though, so take it with a grain of salt.)
• Decades of research on “desirable difficulties” show that learning that feels harder tends to stick.

Try this week:

• Think first, then check. “What do you think? Okay, now let’s check.”
• Ask for a guess. “How far away do you think New York is?” Estimating builds reasoning.
• Let the pause happen. When your child says “I don’t know,” try “Me neither, let’s figure it out.” Resist the urge to rescue them.
• Think out loud. “Hmm, I walk about 3 miles an hour…”
• For older kids, use AI like a tutor. Teach them to ask, “Don’t give me the answer, give me a hint.”
• Praise the process. “I love that you thought about needing to sleep!”

We don’t need to ban AI. We just need to change when it shows up. In a world where anyone can get an answer immediately, the kids who can tolerate the unknown are the ones who will stand out.

In Partnership,

Dr. Rupa

P.S. Thinking about getting your child a phone for the holidays? Then, it's time to start prepping now. My Tech Ready course - Digital Driver's Ed for tweens and their parents - is the perfect way to make sure your family is prepared!

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Tech Positive Parenting, LLC

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Los Gatos, CA 95032

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