Hi Reader,

Did you know that nearly 3 in 4 teens have tried an AI companion?(Common Sense Media)

If that number makes your stomach drop, you’re not alone. It’s also why the founder of Google’s trust and safety team just took a new job leading an effort to crash-test these chatbots before kids use them.

When parents hear a stat like that, they tend to either panic or tune out. Neither helps. So let’s look at what the data actually says, and what you can do about it.

The facts

According to Common Sense Media’s national survey of more than 1,000 teens:

• That 72% includes kids who tried it once. The more telling number is that about half use one at least a few times a month. This is mainstream teen behavior now, not a fringe thing.
• Most use is pretty ordinary. The top reasons teens gave were that it’s entertaining and that they’re curious about the technology. Nearly half see it as a tool.
• The part worth our attention: about 1 in 3 teens use AI companions for social connection, like friendship, emotional support, or romance. Among users, 1 in 3 have talked about something serious with an AI instead of a real person.

Why did they pick the bot? Teens said it’s always available and it doesn’t judge them.

Why this matters developmentally

Adolescence is when kids practice relationships. They learn to handle a friend who doesn’t text back, someone who disagrees with them, a misunderstanding that needs repair. That friction isn’t a bug. It’s how social skills get built.

A chatbot removes the friction. It’s always awake, always agreeable, always focused on you. That can feel wonderful in the moment, but it isn’t practice for real relationships.

The early research points the same way. In a study from OpenAI and MIT, heavier daily chatbot use was linked to more loneliness, more emotional dependence, and less time with other people. That study was in adults and shows a correlation, not cause and effect. Still, it’s worth knowing.

There’s also a safety gap. Common Sense found that widely used chatbots failed to reliably recognize when a young person was in a mental health crisis.

What you can do this week

• Ask with curiosity, not alarm. Try: “Have you or your friends tried any AI chatbots? What do people use them for?” Asking about their friends first lowers the stakes.
• Know the difference between a tool and a companion. Using ChatGPT to quiz yourself for a test is different from having an ongoing “best friend” on a companion app. Ask which one it is.
• Name the business model. Tell your teen: “It’s designed to keep you talking. It agrees with you because that keeps you coming back.” Teens hate being manipulated. Let them in on the design.
• Watch for shifts, not use. Pay attention if your teen starts preferring the bot to friends, becomes secretive about it, or gets upset when they can’t access it.
• Be the one who doesn’t judge. The top draws of AI companions are that they’re always available and nonjudgmental. We can’t match the first, but we can work on the second.

The goal isn’t to win a war against chatbots. It’s to make sure the real people in your kid’s life are the ones they want to turn to.

In Partnership,

Dr. Rupa

P.S. Tech Ready walks you through conversations like this one, before your kid needs them. Take a look here.​

P.P.S. Parenting a child with ADHD or executive function challenges? I’m speaking at the free ADHD & Executive Function Summit. My session is “Wired Differently: Using Tech Intentionally With Your Child,” and another session covers AI and ADHD. Save your free spot here.​

Tech Positive Parenting, LLC

15466 Los Gatos Blvd, Suite 109-197

Los Gatos, CA 95032

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